Your Pandemic Birth Experience Matters
The atmosphere around birth has become so much more stressful since the novel coronavirus pandemic began.
We want to validate that the pandemic has had drastic effects on parents’ birth experiences since early 2020, even for people who haven’t been sick.
If you’ve given birth during the pandemic, we want you to know that your birth experience matters.
It matters that it was so hard to find good information about how COVID-19 might affect pregnant people and babies.
It matters that your last few days, weeks, or months at work were even more stressful than they would have been (let’s face it, preparing to go on parental leave - such as it is in the US - has never been a picnic).
It matters that you’ve been scared every day when you go to your essential job.
It matters that your prenatal yoga class evaporated into thin air, taking away an important weekly ritual. It matters that when your prenatal yoga classes resumed on Zoom, they didn’t have the same relaxing effect.
It matters that you didn’t have a baby shower. It matters that the Zoom version your loved ones put together instead just wasn’t the same.
It matters that your hours have been cut or that you’ve been laid off during pregnancy due to the pandemic. It matters that your finances have become even more of a concern than they were before, and that it feels like these worries are detracting from your pregnancy experience.
It matters that you didn’t feel safe getting the care for your body that you had planned to in pregnancy. It matters if you feel like that affected your birth.
It matters that you frantically tried to figure out if giving birth at home with a midwife would be an option late in the game. It matters if you decided to change your plans at the last minute. It matters if you decided to stick with a hospital even though you were really worried about it. It matters if the main consideration in this decision was financial and you wish it hadn’t been.
It matters that you couldn’t go to your gym anymore. It matters if it was really hard to find a new exercise routine without that option.
It matters that you felt scared and violated when strangers felt comfortable walking up to touch your pregnant belly or your baby, even in this time of physical distancing.
It matters that you’ve experienced so much anxiety around leaving your home to get food and household supplies.
It matters that you felt scared and violated when strangers felt comfortable walking up to touch your pregnant belly or your baby, even in this time of physical distancing.
It matters that your mental health suffered during the last weeks or months of your pregnancy.
It matters that you couldn’t take a birthing class the way you’d planned. It matters that it was even harder to meet other expecting parents.
It matters that you had to attend your prenatal appointments alone. It matters that being alone made it feel so much harder to ask questions and share your thoughts with your doctor or midwife.
It matters that you didn’t feel comfortable risking exposure by attending Black Lives Matter protests. It matters that you struggled with not being able to show your solidarity in person during this historic moment.
It matters that your hospital stopped offering tours and you felt so much anxiety about where you would go and what the space would be like when the time came.
It matters that you couldn’t have a doula with you like you’d planned.
It matters that you couldn’t have close friends or family members with you like you’d planned.
It matters that the decision of when to go to the hospital in labor felt so much more fraught than it already did.
It matters that you were pressured to induce in the name of the pandemic.
It matters that your pregnancy and birth looked so different from how you imagined they would.
It matters that the hospital forced you to separate from your partner for hours upon your arrival to the labor and delivery unit.
It matters that the nurse who checked you into the hospital said she didn’t believe the pandemic is real and didn’t wear a mask to protect you.
It matters that your hospital limited the supplies you could use or bring for your labor in the name of the pandemic.
It matters that you felt like your medical care was different, or your birth was artificially hurried along just because the hospital wanted your stay to be as short as possible.
It matters if you experienced obstetric violence during the pandemic. (It really matters. Report your experience anonymously here.)
It matters that you couldn’t see the faces of your nurses, doctors, or midwives during your labor and birth behind their masks. It matters that your own partner’s expressions were hidden by a mask. It matters, even though those masks are saving lives.
It matters that no one was there to take pictures during your birth and when you met your baby for the first time.
It matters that the hospital used the pandemic as an excuse to exclude your partner from your cesarean birth.
It matters if you actually had a positive birth experience overall, but you feel guilty because you know how hard this has been for other families.
It matters that your older kids couldn’t meet their new sibling in the hospital.
It matters that even though it made more sense than ever to be released from the hospital as soon as possible postpartum, the hospital still put up a fuss when you requested an early discharge.
It matters that postpartum support group options were so limited after birth.
It matters that your plans for childcare and returning to work are completely up in the air. It matters that it’s become even more stressful than it already would have been pre-covid.
We recognize that partners and co-parents have also been heavily affected by the pandemic.
It matters that your partner has had more anxiety during the pandemic. It matters if that has been really hard to support them through.
It matters that you weren’t allowed to participate in your partner’s prenatal care.
It matters that you missed the anatomy ultrasound.
It matters that you experienced anxiety and/or depression in the last weeks of your partner’s pregnancy. It matters that this made it more difficult to support them in the ways you wanted to.
It matters that exercise became so much more difficult. It matters that getting less exercise caused your mental and/or physical health to suffer.
It matters that your finances became so worrisome during the pandemic. It matters that this was a distraction from preparing to welcome your new baby.
It matters that without in-person classes it was hard to meet other expecting families.
It matters that you felt the pressure of being the only support person there for your partner during labor.
It matters that when you were first separated at the hospital, you spent those hours in the car low-key freaking out, waiting to hear from your partner that everything was ok, and feeling horrible knowing that they were alone.
It matters that even though you had a virtual doula, you were still the one who had to do everything physically to help your partner through labor.
It matters that you had to navigate using a laptop or cell phone to speak with your doula and/or loved ones during labor. It matters that it felt distracting or awkward or challenging, and that it was the last thing you wanted to be dealing with.
It matters that you felt claustrophobic without being able to take a few minutes to yourself during labor. It matters that you weren’t allowed to leave the room, even to grab coffee.
It matters that you felt pressured into making decisions in labor that seemed to serve the hospital and not your family. It matters that even though you know this can happen normally, it felt like the hospital was taking advantage of the pandemic in this way.
It matters that you weren’t allowed to be there while your baby was born by cesarean because the hospital took used the pandemic as an excuse to exclude you.
If you tested positive for COVID-19, your birth experience matters.
It matters that you had to give birth alone.
It matters that you felt sick while you were pregnant, giving birth, or postpartum.
It matters that staff tried to stay away from you as much as they could.
It matters that you worried about passing on the infection to others while you were in the hospital.
It matters that your medical care was heavily affected by your infection.
It matters that your partner couldn’t be there for your child’s birth.
It matters that no one could visit you in the hospital.
It matters that you were alone most of the time you were in the hospital.
It matters that you were pressured to be separated from your baby in the hospital. It matters that you were told not to breastfeed/chestfeed, even though the evidence shows that nursing is safe even if positive for covid.
It matters that it was really hard to get lactation support.
It matters that you worried about passing on the infection to your partner, children, or other household members.
It matters that you felt like a statistic instead of a human being.
It matters that you’re wondering what the world will be like for your baby as they grow up.
