My 8-Week-Old Is Extremely Fussy
Dear Marlee,
My first baby is 8 weeks old. For the last few days, she's been extremely fussy (and I mean extremely). She is basically inconsolable from around 3pm until after dinner. When this happens, I make sure she is fed and changed. We've tried bouncing and rocking her, but no luck. We're giving her gripe water and gas drops as often as we can, but nothing seems to help.
Is this colic? Do you have any other suggestions??
Sincerely,
Getting Desperate
Dear Getting Desperate,
At 8 weeks, she's at the top of her crying curve!
This is a normal developmental stage babies go through between about 1-3 months with markedly increased crying. The good news here: the "curve" aspect means that after the crying increase peaks, it will ramp back down again.
My personal belief is that when babies are near this peak they tend to feel pain more acutely (or be more bothered by mild discomfort that would otherwise not be so upsetting to them). That is because of the relationship between stress hormones and pain. We can presume that a baby has higher levels of stress hormones in her system when they are near the top of their crying curve (and feeling lots of distress). I believe that we can then also assume that if there is discomfort to feel, they will feel it more than they usually would.
So if it sounds like a pain cry at any point, it's possible that it is! But that most likely doesn't mean that there is anything "big" wrong. These are usually "do what you can to comfort and treat the symptoms, and just get through it" moments.
You do not need to rock or bounce her when this is happening -- truly! It is enough that you are with her.
If she has a clean, dry diaper, has been fed, and nothing else seems to be amiss, you can simply let her rest on your chest while she cries. You can snuggle her while she does this, but you do not need to rock or bounce.
Rather, you could try simply focusing your own breath, breathing in and out deeply if that feels calming to you. You could also try listening to something that feels calming and relaxing to you (some favorite low-key music, a calm-ish podcast you enjoy, etc.)! Anything that helps you feel better will help her in turn. Your nervous systems are deeply connected! She's wired for "co-regulation".
There is one other thing to consider -- it is extremely possible she's wanting to cluster feed. If you're already working with a lactation professional, it could be a good time for a visit to discuss this. I'm also happy to meet with you virtually to talk this through from a feeding perspective. But I do want to reassure you that even if this is part of picture, increased fussiness in the afternoon/evening around this age is completely developmentally normal!
If you need a little boost when this is happening, try reminding yourself "This too shall pass." Most likely she will be out of this phase in a couple of weeks!
