Avoiding Boredom during Maternity Leave
Dear Marlee,
I'm having my first baby in a couple months. I have a pretty demanding job and I'll be off for maternity leave starting at 36 weeks.
I feel really lucky that I'll have 12 weeks off after birth to spend with my baby, but I'm a little worried about the time between 36 weeks and whenever the baby comes. I'm the kind of person that likes to be busy AND I always like to know what to expect (I consider myself type A), so I'm nervous that I'll just be really bored while I'm off work before I go into labor.
My partner won't get time off until birth and after the baby is born, so it's not like we can just enjoy quality time at that point. I just keep imagining sitting at home alone. And since I could go into labor anytime after that (even up until 41 weeks I've heard?) that could last for a month or more!
This is probably kind of a weird question, but what do people do during that time? Are there things I should be thinking about, or things that you would recommend?
Sincerely,
Bored
Dear Bored,
This is such a great question! First of all, not everything you do during this time needs to be baby or pregnancy related, so I think it would be smart to ask yourself “what do I *normally* like to do when I have free time?” (Or what did you like to do with free time when you were younger, if it’s been a while since you’ve had a big chunk of unscheduled time to fill.)
I would grab a sheet of paper and a pen and write down every activity you can think of that sounds remotely appealing, big or small. As you’re writing don’t pause to analyze — just keep the pen moving, jotting down any vague idea that pops into your head.
Once you’ve captured those thoughts on paper, you can start going through your list and consider each thing you wrote down. Is this one feasible? Does it sound appealing? Does it need to be scheduled or are there steps I’d need to take to make it happen? If yes, make a plan.
If it sounds appealing and doesn’t need any special preparation (i.e. it’s something you could do at the spur of a moment with little to no prep), put it on another list. Then put that list on your bulletin board, fridge, or in your favorite note-keeping app so you always have a list of options if you’re feeling antsy or want to do something fun.
Now that you have all that down, it would be a great time to take stock of where you are in terms of birth and baby preparation. Is there anything else you want to do or to learn more about? Had you considered hiring a doula or taking a childbirth class but kept that on the back burner? This could be a great time to bring those ideas forward and start reaching out to some birth professionals who offer these services!
If you are planning to nurse your baby, have you taken a lactation class? That would be another excellent step to take. We offer a self-paced online class that you might enjoy — there are several hours of content to go through so maternity leave could be a great time to do that!
Were there any books you were hoping to read? Now’s your chance! Here are some books we recommend if you’re looking for suggestions.
One more big thing to consider — how is your body feeling? If you aren’t already receiving any special pregnancy-related care or pampering, would you like to be? You might look into acupuncture, chiropractic, prenatal massage, yoga, and pelvic floor physical therapy, and decide what feels right for you.
Between all of these things and baby-related tasks that might already be on your to-do list (are you setting up a nursery or other baby area? Have you packed your hospital bag yet?), you might surprise yourself and find that rather than sitting home feeling like you have nothing to do, you actually have to work to make sure there’s plenty of time for rest and relaxation during these last weeks before you welcome your baby!
Congratulations on your pregnancy, and I wish you a lovely (and productive!) maternity leave.
- Marlee
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